I fell in a French bakery the other day. I landed in a world of pain.
A few Turkey based ones… get the stocks ready:
On which side do turkeys have less feathers?
On the inside.
Why did the police arrest the turkey?
They suspected fowl play…
What’s a running turkey called?
Fast food.
Just like me, my son was born into an ancient family of seagulls. He’s a chick off the old flock.
My son drew a picture of the Earth and asked me where he should draw the Kármán line. I told him the sky’s the limit.
My son wasn’t sure what to do with his full bladder. I told him peeing is relieving.
My son asked me what the difference was between a hill with a fence round it and a Motte-and-Bailey castle. I said it’s the fort that counts.
My son wanted to throw away all of my favourite herb. I told him in no uncertain terms: no thyme to waste.
To my surprise, my son said he wished he were shorter. Ideally as small as a thumb! However, he’d settle for the size of a diminutive actor. I gave him some advice: neither a Borrower nor Hollander be.
My son, a flat-Earther, cried when he saw a ship sail over the horizon. I told him it wasn’t the end of the world.
Is…. Is this thing on?
How many times do you need to be banned?
But…wait, did you read the jokes? They’re gonna hit you right in your fun gland. They were hand-tailored by a master gigglesmith.
All of them
I don’t know what to suggest, Nick. I mean, you’ve clearly put your heart and soul into this collection of—what did you call them?—jokes, yet they seem not to have tickled the armpits of your audience. Could there be some element missing, perhaps?
My buddy is a flat earther! Once, I argued with him so long that he stormed off angrily, insisting that he would walk in a straight line until he walked off the edge of the world, just to prove me wrong!
He’ll come around eventually.
You have to be wary of Flat-Earthers, they’re everywhere, all around the globe.
I could never understand how anyone could suggest the earth being flat when it’s obviously quite lumpy…
And wrinkly!
My partner glued all my cards together last night.
I’m having a hard time dealing with it.