If at first you don’t succeed, flamenco.
Altogether too relatable…
If at first you don’t succeed, proceed with the flamethrower
Ran out of toilet paper and had to start using newspaper instead. The Times are rough…
The sun is not as hot as you’d think.
I’ve been working on some jokes to put in the ‘Cytology jokes’ section of the textbook I’m working on:
• Cytologists can’t work with broken microscopes. They find it hard to focus.
• Cytologists don’t trust glass slides; they can see right through them.
• There’s no cell quite like one that’s been phagocytosed by a bone-based macrophage – they’re in an osteoclast of their own.
• Where do you usually find mitosis? On the end of my foot, sis.
What’s the best gift you can give?
A broken drum.
Nobody can beat that.
You haven’t met my children…
What’s the difference between a light bulb and a computer programmer?
A lightbulb stops working when it burns out
That’s a really sad one. But not wrong.
You know, it’s becoming a generational problem that none of the families I know are having children. We’re going to develop a receding heir-line.
My first money-making idea was to make invisible rockets. Sadly, I don’t see it taking off.
The fallback, however, was a spatula you could use on Jesus. That’s the only way to turn a prophet.
I’m not prejudice but…
Manchester is more of a trams city really!
‘We’d have less arguments if you weren’t so bloody pedantic!’ my partner yelled.
‘Fewer, darling. Fewer arguments.’