What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

If at first you don’t succeed, flamenco.

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Altogether too relatable…

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If at first you don’t succeed, proceed with the flamethrower

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Ran out of toilet paper and had to start using newspaper instead. The Times are rough…

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The sun is not as hot as you’d think.

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I’ve been working on some jokes to put in the ‘Cytology jokes’ section of the textbook I’m working on:

• Cytologists can’t work with broken microscopes. They find it hard to focus.
• Cytologists don’t trust glass slides; they can see right through them.
• There’s no cell quite like one that’s been phagocytosed by a bone-based macrophage – they’re in an osteoclast of their own.
• Where do you usually find mitosis? On the end of my foot, sis.

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What’s the best gift you can give?

A broken drum.

Nobody can beat that.

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You haven’t met my children…

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What’s the difference between a light bulb and a computer programmer?

A lightbulb stops working when it burns out

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That’s a really sad one. But not wrong.

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You know, it’s becoming a generational problem that none of the families I know are having children. We’re going to develop a receding heir-line.

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My first money-making idea was to make invisible rockets. Sadly, I don’t see it taking off.

The fallback, however, was a spatula you could use on Jesus. That’s the only way to turn a prophet.

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I’m not prejudice but…

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Manchester is more of a trams city really!

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And canals :wink:

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‘We’d have less arguments if you weren’t so bloody pedantic!’ my partner yelled.

‘Fewer, darling. Fewer arguments.’

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