What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

Sorry, I thought that if we do a migration, we might as well bring this over too. It can’t be all easy…

Why were they called the Dark Ages?
Because there were so many knights…

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Why don’t owls mate in the rain?
Because it’s too wet to woo…

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It also means I can do my favourite thing (according to my wife) - repeat my jokes! :slight_smile:

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Why doesn’t a pig’s tail get up before 10am?
Because it’s twirly!

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Why do you only ever find one gnome on a toadstool?
There’s not mushroom!

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Why can’t you give painkillers to jaguars in the rainforest?

Because they have a relative lack of glucuronoyl transferase, the enzyme that conjugates paracetamol with glucuronic acid, and are far less able to cope with the resulting suphates, leading to methaemoglobinaemia (the enzymes for dealing which are also fewer and further between in felids), hypoxia and death.

Oh, and also the parrots eat 'em all (paracetamol). (Doesn’k work well if you happen to call this drug acetominophen, sorry, you’ll have to write your own punchline for that).

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Gotta be honest, this isn’t one I’ll be memorising & claiming as my own for use in person! :sweat_smile:

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So we’re going obscure, are we?

I found myself in a state of nervous ecstacy while contemplating a picture of Marie-Henri Beyle. There ought to be a name for that.

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Erwin Schrödinger, Noam Chomsky, and Kurt Gödel walk into a joke.

Schrödinger: I can’t tell if this joke is funny or not.
Chomsky: It’s funny. You’re just not telling it right.
Gödel: Of course you can’t tell if it’s funny. You’re in the joke!

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Schrödinger and Heisenberg are driving down the freeway when they’re pulled over by a cop. He asks Heisenberg ‘Do you know exactly how fast you were going, sir?’ and Heisenberg says ‘No, but I can give you my precise location.’

The cop walks around and pops the trunk. He calls round, ‘Hey, do you know you’ve got a dead cat in here?!’ Schrödinger sighs and replies, ‘Well, now I do!’

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If I see a picture of Genghis Khan holding a spear, and then I show you but you don’t see the spear, does that make it a Khan Spear I See theory?

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What does our neighbor need to cut their can in half?

Our can saw. (obligatory during primary school in Little Rock)

What’s it mean to roll with advantage?

Paradise.

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An electrician asked an apprentice to name two types of transformers.

His answer: Decepticons and Autobots?

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Ah, but did you turn rouge, noir or just a faint chartreuse?
(Not a joke)
Unrhetorical one. What is the difference between an onion and bagpipes? No one cries when you cut bagpipes in half.

I disagree strongly but it made me laugh and is suitable for all ages.
Now, back to the good ones.

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Good ones? On this thread…?

I will lower the bar: What is the difference between a fly and a bird?

A bird can fly, but a fly can’t bird!

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In his book on the philosophy and psychology of jokes, Daniel Dennett offers an example I like:

A man says to a hot dog vendor, “Make me one with everything.” The man is a Zen Buddhist.

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A man walked into a cafe and ordered a coffee with no cream.

The barista replied, “I’m sorry, sir, we’re out of cream. How about a coffee with no milk instead?”

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My undergrad group heard that as:

“The Buddha walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, ‘Make me one with everything.’“

We added:

“Hot dog vendor throws together the dog and passes it to the Buddha. The Buddha hands the hot dog vendor a five spot. The hot dog vendor starts to wheel his cart away and the Buddha says, ‘hey bitch, where’s my change?’ Hot dog vendor looks at the Buddha and says, ‘Change must come from within.’”

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A computer programmer’s mother asks him to pick something up at the supermarket.

Programmer: “What do you want me to get?”
Mom: “A carton of milk. And if they have eggs, pick up a dozen.”

20 minutes later he returns with twelve cartons of milk.

Mom: “Why did you buy twelve cartons of milk?”
Programmer: “Because they had eggs.”

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This speaks to me at a level that is difficult to understand.

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