My whole team just resigned over an ongoing pay dispute. The company had increased the salaries slightly, but none of us could make ends meet, and they told us that any further rise was out of the question. I’ll miss working as a magnetic levitation engineer.
Wait, let’s try that again…
My shoelace business isn’t going well. I thought I could double my revenues by cutting the laces in half, but I just can’t make ends meet.
There’s got to be a sausage joke in here somewhere…
My local butcher used to make really good sausages, but recently the quality has just been terrible. The middle is fine but the rest tastes like sawdust. When I asked him about it he said that rising costs meant that he couldn’t afford to make ends meat anymore…
An old cowboy goes to a barber for a haircut.
“Do you want a shave as well?”
“Nah. My cheeks are too wrinkled these days, I just end up gettin’ cut.”
“No problem! Just put this wooden ball in your mouth to push your cheek out, and I’ll shave it.”
Sure enough the shave goes well. The cowboy, impressed, says the the barber “Damn, this is the best shave I’ve had in years! But one question… what would happen if I had swallowed the ball?”
“Oh, don’t worry about it. It eventually comes out the other end, and then you just bring it back to me like everyone else has.”