Ooooops 
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Well, the comic shows a family playing boardgames? So…
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Here is a linguistic joke for y’all, and I apologize in advance.
In old English, the suffices -tor and -trix were used to indicate gender. The male used -tor (gladiator, aviator), and the female would use -trix (aviatrix, dominatrix, etc…).
In modern English, -tor is used for both male and female, and -trix is for kids.
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What did 50 Cent do when he got hungry?
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Heard on the radio this morning: What do you call a judge with no thumbs?
Justice Fingers
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I finally finished writing my book on penguins!
In retrospect, I probably should’ve written it on paper…
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That made me laugh much more than it should have done
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From the 15 year old…
I saw online a Russian comic making jokes about Putin. The set was so so but his execution was immaculate
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Did you hear about the guy who dipped his testicles in glitter? Pretty nuts, eh?
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I found a mindblowing fact yesterday. 163,277,371 people get married every year around the world. What blew my mind was that it is an odd number…
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A man lost three fingers in an accident. He went to the hospital, and the doctor managed to save his remaining fingers.
“Doc, will I still be able to drive with this hand?”
“Possibly, but I wouldn’t count on it.”
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I found out today that diarrhoea is hereditary.
When you suffer from it, it runs through your jeans…
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So you got hired to work at our FLGS? Nice. But just so you know, some games have gota really funny names these days.
Oh yeah?
Yeah. Like, we have a game called Exit.
Okay, that’s weird. But I think I can handle it.
Okay. Any questions?
What is the current best seller?
No, our current best seller is Just One.
Just one what?
Our current best seller.
Yeah.
Yes.
What is the name of our current best seller?
Just one.
We have lots of best sellers?
Well, sure we do. A top 5 at least.
So, I come into the store and I ask for the best selling game. What is it?
No, What is probably not it.
What isn’t it?
Correct.
What if I asked for the second best selling game?
Oh, that’s easy. That’s The Game.
The game is called That’s Easy?
What? No, no. There is no game called That’s Easy that I know of.
So what IS the name of the 2nd best seller?
The Game.
Yeah, the second best game.
Now you got it!
I don’t even know what I’m talking about!
Oh, I don’t think that’s top ten.
Top ten?
Unreleased.
What is?
No, What is released.
I don’t know.
Don’t know what?
That’s what I’m saying.
I don’t follow.
If I walked out with the best selling game, I am walking out with…?
Just one.
Yes, Just one of the best sellers.
Exactly.
And if I bought all of the top ten?
You couldn’t because it hasn’t released.
What hasn’t?
No, What has.
What?
Yes.
If I wanted several of the best sellers?
Well, if you wanted three you would have to start with Ten…
Ten What?
No, none of those. Ten is top ten, though.
Thought we were sold out of top ten?
Well, it’s technically unreleased.
What is?
(Both)
No, What has.
(Etc… Etc…)
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After reading all that… I will drop a simple one from my daughter:
-Mum sent me to the shop to buy six bottles of Sprite. I think she will be mad at me…
-Why?
-Because I picked seven up.
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Ah, like the classic…
Why was six scared?
Because it thought it saw an intruder in the dark, but after turning on the light it was just the coat stand, so everything was actually ok.
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Until it remembers it doesn’t even have a coat rack.
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I somehow prefer the seven eight nine story… way less spooky!
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Looking forward to go and see Jimmy Carr tonight with my better half. I might bring a load of horrible (as in really rough) jokes tomorrow. So far, I’ve loved this one from his present NZ tour:
“New Plymouth? Sorry, no improvement on the original”
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What’s purple and rules Macedonia? Alexander the grape.
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