“I’m mostly a testicle.”
(Spoken by someone who is entirely devoid of testicles.)
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How dare you call Skipper the Eye child a testicle.
Better example
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You’re both nuts.
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“You know you’re a redneck when you watch Deliverance and think it’s a love story.”
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“That is the smell of Birmingham. And gamers.”
“Well, go and wash it off at once.”
(I was presenting my hand to the cat since I had cruelly abandoned her with only two staff over the Expo weekend.)
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“Ditto, but also in a solemn tone”
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*hearing a call of “Maria!”, and singing:*
“How do you solve a problem like Maria?”
“It was Marina.”
“Oh. I’m afraid I can’t help you, then.”
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Best advice I was given against knives: be faster running than them. Ort at least the second slowest in your group.
Second best. Get a bigger blade, waaay bigger.
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A rumour recently of someone who looked up her local police department’s minimum fitness standards, trained to be 10% better across the board, and now they can’t catch her any more…
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“Is there anything vomit can’t cure?”
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“With that much bread and plonk I’ll be fine.”
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Thats a sentiment I can get behind
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Vomiting?…
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yes, get behind vomiting, and out in front of diarrhea.
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I would upscale to infantry sabre. But somehow is not allowed any more.
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Other PC: “But that won’t stop them torturing [our ally] to death.”
Me in character: “It’s OK, he doesn’t know anything important.”
Me out of character: “Why yes, I do have Callous, as you are now certain even if you only suspected it before.”
GM: “Luck roll.” [This is a thing we adapted into GURPS, 6s are good, 1s are bad.]
Dice: 6 5 6.
Me to the dice: “You wanted to be a fumble, didn’t you?”
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Walked into the bedroom and asked the eavesdropping speaker to turn on the bedside light, which it did. Madeline Kahn, one of our cats, looked up from her spot on the bed and yawned extravagantly.
“Hello, little sweetheart,” I said as I made a fuss of her. “How are you doing, kitten?”
“I’m very well, thank you for asking,” said the speaker.
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“I’m only doing it because you’re doing it, but it’s really annoying that we’re both doing it!”
(I wasn’t bothered by either of us doing it.)
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