When you’ve crashed your motorbike as many times as Billy Idol, I wouldn’t be surprised if there is no symmetry left in your body.
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“Those peas have ruined me for life.”
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I still remember a pair of pictures, mirrored, labeled as “Samuel L Jackson” and “Samuel R Jackson.”
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“No, you may not build your nest in my beard.” - me to a wasp
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*waspdrake
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Yesterday I saw on the wall of a cafe a photo labelled “The Village People” which showed the cast of Magnum P.I.
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“He brings a knife. You bring one hand clapping. That’s the Lhasa way.”
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“Hairy love is just a little bit of heaven for me”
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“Does that make you the scampi of Christ?”
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Turn phrases into positive sentences:
-Don’t walk on the road : Please run on the road.
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My Son (8 years old): I’m not sure why, but I want to make a PowerPoint
Me: Trust me, you have a lifetime of that coming up
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“My religion doesn’t have a lot to say about knife fighting, other than you should probably try to win.”
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I would add a decree or two to that religion. Trying not to get stabbed beats trying to win in my book.
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There’s an old paramedic joke: how do you spot the winner of a knife fight? He’s the one who bleeds out in the emergency room.
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Just to add from martial arts perspective: yeah.
They gave black belts some big white suits and red marker pens and despite doing styles that protect vs knives they were both covered in red pen. You can’t stop it.
The guy who taught the SAS around WWII recommended using a chair “like a lion tamer” if you don’t wanna be hit.
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My main takeaway from kickboxing is that if I ever get into an actual fight my best bet is to kick my opponent hard in the knees and then run away. That’s only if running away by itself isn’t an option…
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At a previous job, I had to go to a two day fire safety training. We were taught how to use all the firefighting equipment and personal protection stuff that was in a building I didn’t work in (and, couldn’t even get into, if I wanted to.[1]). Cool specialized fire extinguishers, personal air supply things, plus the normal sort of fire hoses and extinguishers. Then we got to set some stuff on fire, and put it out.
The takeaway – explicitly stated, many times – was “we have this stuff because we have a legal requirement for it. But don’t use it. IF there’s a fire, run away. let the professionals do it.”
[1] I did not work for the owner of the building. my employer had formerly had owned the building, but spun off that division. They were leasing back space in another campus, which the spun off company considered part of the research lab complex, for administrative convenience. I had a computer lab, with, you know, computers in it. But ‘lab’ meant they considered it the same as the actual occasionally-blow-up labs in the other building, so I had to do the safety trainings, which took two weeks.
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Agreed. My instructor was good enough to have us do the same thing, and it was sobering. Especially after researching knife injury photographs. One time I was assisting at a grading and junior students were doing so-called knife defence techniques, and I think I went off-script by absolutely wrecking them with the fake knife, but I wanted them to have no illusions about that stuff working. Of course it might work, but the risk of horrific injury/maiming/death is so high.
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“You can add an extra finger every once in a while.”
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For context, the character is an ex-Ranger ex-OSS sniper working as a more investigative sort or agent in the early 1950s. The party was in Buenos Aires and the rest of them were talking about enjoying the local fleshpots, and possible hazards thereof; he’s LDS by upbringing and mostly keeps to it.
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