On our Library D&D session for kids yesterday:
“I feel like going down the hole to fight the wolves again” said halfling rogue kid.
“No, you’re not bloody going” said his mum, a human fighter named Beasty McNasty. “I am”
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In today’s game:
“And we have no means of neutralising magic.”
“Well, technically you do, but it’s like early antibiotics, tends to kill the patient too…”
and later
“We came to investigate whether the old woman had been murdered.”
“We still don’t have a good answer to that question, except technically ‘yes, by us’.”
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In our Star Trek Adventures campaign last night:
Me: “Okay, I want you to tell me one warning sticker on the outside of the quantum torpedo.”
Player 1: “Sure. ‘For External Use Only.’”
Player 2: “Do Not Insert Anally.”
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“So, you just need to sing this part like a jazz chicken…”
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Me: “You look alive today.”
Wife: “I had coffee.”
The bar for wellbeing has lowered around here lately.
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Wife, tomorrow: “Braaaains.”
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“We need to ungrub the grubby areas all around this room…”
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„ChatGPT is cocaine for programmers. Like Christmas only faster.“
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The Stars Are Right RPG session: “…and surely the whole hospital staff wouldn’t be in on it?”
Me: “What, Our Lady of the Merciful Tentacles?”
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Me: Yes, I used to be able to do a back bend, maaaaaany years ago.
6yr old: What, in 1527?
Ouch.
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I have some stretches that I have been doing when I walk away from my desk, becuase my flexablity is crap. one is a side leg stretch, using a post to support my leg a bit higher than I can lift and hold it. I tried just a touch too high, and started to lose my balance. Normally, you’d just put the foot down, but it stuck to the post (which was probably not actually sticking, but not moving enough to unload it). I flailed around with my arms for what felt like a minute (and was probably 0.75 seconds) before I could hop away. I’m glad there are no cameras in the basement.
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‘Your mum taught me dogging.’
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“I waved the chainsaw at her in a friendly fashion”
and (unrelated)
“You’re much nicer than a plastic ape”.
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Family friend: It’s like top gun only with monkeys!
While watching the new Super Mario Brothers movie.
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“Surely its just round this next corner?”
Said repeatedly towards the end of our walking weekend as our sore feet really began to complain!
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In last night’s Pathfinder-derived game:
“Their entire specialised biology is based on not being seen. This leads you to either non-confrontational or ambush predator.”
Skulks if that helps.
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I just picked up a sample from a tortoise and said ‘chelonian-d in tears’. It was very amusing.
Our pathologists are studious and professional so resisted the urges to guffaw and remained silent, but it was a moment of mirth I think everyone will remember for a while.
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With jokes like that flying around, keeping a straight face is probably very undifficult.
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In the saner regions of the universe, that would feature on this thread in its own right.
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