“‘Bacteria Energy’ – the lightest and most-portable energy source, perfect for the modern professional Castaway.”
6 Likes
“We’d have to cast Walk on Air on the zombie cyclops, but that presents no great difficulty.”
6 Likes
“Can I interest you in some nun plums?”
(I feel vaguely compelled to clarify that these were actual plums I had picked from a tree at an actual convent upon the suggestion of an actual nun.)
5 Likes
Is that a nun de plume?
5 Likes
“You can keep them. I don’t need Jesus and Aladdin in my life.”
9 Likes
“Adult chunks with turkey or sodomy?”
(Cat food, and the last word was actually “sardines”.)
5 Likes
“So ‘voluntary euthanasia via killer whale’, then?”
“It’d be more efficient than a panda.”
(Not having realised that pandas were the alternative, I had made the mistake of sipping on my drink after asking my question, and I consider it An Accomplishment that everything in front of me was not subsequently covered by a fine mist of tea.)
8 Likes
“Don’t lift with your face”
9 Likes
“It’s amazing what an extending cobweb brush can do.”
3 Likes
“I want chicken skin!”
“Pork chops don’t have chicken skin!”
-Older kid’s request and my reponse
5 Likes
In the Sentinels of the Multiverse game at Tekelilicon:
A: “Seriously, why would anyone choose to live in Megalopolis if there are villains attacking it all the time?”
B: (turns up the Plummeting Monorail disaster card) “They have a monorail!”
15 Likes
Had. They had a monorail.
19 Likes
That definitely improves it, doesn’t it? A ruined monorail for your sunset pictures is the cooooolest thing…
5 Likes
I need a moniker
I’m a mom…so a momiker?
9 Likes
It could be your super-hero momiker? (Although if that’s not already “superjaz” then your heroic alter-ego name will need to be impressive if it’s going to sound like an upgrade.)
6 Likes
“I’m trying to get my fingers into her”
No, I did not mean that
7 Likes
“Mao specifically claimed that bourgeois elements were peeing on his sugar sandwich”
6 Likes
“I’d think of her everytime clip-on ties came up in conversation”
3 Likes
Me= me kiddo 1 and 2.
Me: kiddo 2 likes jack in the boxes now? FML (letters like I typed, not swearing)
Kiddo 2: don’t say that!
Me: then find a cheaper hobby*
- These days Jack in the boxes are pretty flimsy made out of metal that if you try fixing will cut you, break if you look at them funny and it really hurts to get one thrown at you.
They run about 30ish bucks a pop and will often have a factory recall of some kind.
5 Likes
No. The objective is to deliver live hamsters on target at a rate of at least three per second. …The belt-feed could be a bit of a problem
6 Likes