Actual things you actually said (or heard) in the last 24 hours

A man to his female partner:

“How’s your crabbies?”

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Shocking behaviour. That man deserved a slap.

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You won’t believe what he said next about a year-long yeast infection.

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That was an entirely forgivable slip of the tongue, or so I’ve have heard.

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Whatever caused it, it’s not something to discuss in public.

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“What would you do without me? Still have caramel on your tits!”

“Yeh, and not in a good way!”

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The only possible response is ‘Yes please, I’d like another pint’

Crabbie’s Original Alcoholic Ginger Beer. I recommend.

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“North Korea is probably littered with forgotten kimchi vestibules”

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“I just cut myself on a banana.”

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“There are no mistakes in jazz, only bold creative decisions.”

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This may be why I’m not a huge fan of jazz.

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Well, there’s jazz and then there’s jazz…

I like the old jazzy pop standards, stuff from the 20s and 30s like Honeysuckle Rose and It’s Only a Paper Moon, rather than the full-on improvisational stuff you need a doctorate in jazzology from the jazz university of Jazzville to begin to understand and appreciate. Some later stuff puts me in mind of the (probably apocryphal) story of a classical musician who was taken to a Jimi Hendrix concert and, when asked what he thought of it, said, “I wish I could play like that, then I never would.”

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The jazz I like tends to have been written for people to get up and dance to, rather than for them to rub their chins and say “hmm”.

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Jazz literally ruined my dinner last night …

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As I once heard of that style, “they call it Free Jazz because nobody would ever pay for it.”

As calibration, this is from a guy who enjoys New Orleans Rhythm Kings, Glenn Miller and Jelly Roll Morton.

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I really like the Rhythm Kings, but I’ve got to be in the mood for Glenn Miller.

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Exactly, Roger. That’s where it started.

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Here’s a drummer explaining how to play 13/8 who has opinions on that topic:



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Is anyone else dying to hear some elaboration?

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Not dying, dying, but would love to hear what happened…

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