Actual things you actually said (or heard) in the last 24 hours

I often get to that point about half way through writing the very first email in that chain, painstakingly crafting it in unambiguous phrasing which I’m 75% sure will still be misinterpreted.

6 Likes

“Now, look what happens when I go up the g-string…”

3 Likes

“Hi love, there was a clearance in the garden centre, and I might need your help when you come back home”

:man_facepalming:

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elvis

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High school was rife with this theme - that and the “hundred breast” on swim team.

To be fair, the g-string is very easy to snap if you play with it overtightened.

Ouch. Both parts, ouch.

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I’d better put on my collar. I’m going to be sitting next to faux leather pants!

3 Likes

(We have just discovered a set of magical beacons surrounding a high-value target, and we suspect they’ll be used to guide paratroopers.)

“So what I’m hearing is that we move these to surround the nearest bit of deep water.”

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“Oh, so that’s the bow of the ship.” (In a game of Unfathomable)

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I hope this lesson was learned in the process of failing some sort of objective.

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“You should be good. I will knock if I need you. Or, if they kill me, you’ll find me eventually. And I won’t care, I’ll be dead.”

“Well, that went dark…”

-Me and my brother-in-law when he asked if I still needed his help with the kids.

5 Likes

“For some reason, God saw fit to provide me with an endless supply of toenails.”

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After hearing the NZ anthem on Sunday morning (yes I taped the ABs v Springboks game, it was at 2AM local time), my 6 yo daughter goes:

“NZ is not a free land, you still have to do what your parents say”

8 Likes