“A digital recreation of the acoustics of a Death Star urinal…”
At Expo: “Never mind the year, I’m not as young as I was on Thursday.”
I have to type something here
If you want Jerrry Springer’s balls, they’re in that bucket.
“I lived.”
“Yes, but at what cost?”
“Wait. Funky as in James Brown or funky as in expired mayonnaise?”
‘Let’s Twist again, like we did last summer.’
(Our local board game cafe is called ‘Twist’, and we haven’t been for a while.)
Makes me think of a saying my wife taught me: “Funny ‘Ha-Ha’, or funny ‘This meat is tainted?’”
Wife: I love you more than bacon. Yes I do.
Me: What about butter?
Wife: Don’t press your luck.
Do you want to try the submarine in the whale butt?
(no context will be provided)
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Knock knock.
Knock knock who?
Who knock there?
There who knock knock?
Is who knocking there?
Ok, we need an exit strategy.
“The sea is a harsh mistress. Wearing kinky boots.”
Well then who’s there?
Yes.
I mean the fellow’s name.
Who.
The guy at the door.
Who.
The one in the knock knock joke.
Who.
The guy knocking…
Who is there!
I’m asking YOU who’s there.
That’s the man’s name.
That’s who’s name?
Yes.
Well go ahead and tell me.
That’s it.
That’s who?
Yes.
Look, you gotta knock knock joke?
Certainly.
Who’s knocking?
That’s right.
Want to hear my favorite knock knock joke?
Sure.
OK, you start.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
…
I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear you. I was flexing my toes.
“And just when you think things couldn’t get any more awesome the ninja nuns show up.”
1950s, Antarctica, talking to some Germans who don’t know the war is over. “OK, can we convince them? How quickly can we get Admiral Dönitz down here? He’s in prison right now, but I’m sure he’ll cooperate.”
“Nazi management science sneers at positive motivation!”
“These are the days when having half your missile filed with red fuming nitric acid seems like a good idea.”
“Gee, and I thought that was just a footnote in the memetic warfare textbook.”
“They built 394 B-36s. That ought to be enough wing area to eclipse some of the smaller states,”
Sadly,only 1/26,000 of a Rhode Island.
“Apparently Nike is 3D printing her gear and it will only weigh as much as 8 marshmallows. But it doesn’t say if that’s large or small marshmallows.”