Saruman ate my lembas and I am NOT happy about it.
9 Likes
“Just remember that every time you win a game, you are playing against a woman with a cognitive disability.”
“So what does that mean when you win?”
“It’s just sad!”
8 Likes
My wife could/would use that against me.
6 Likes
A fabulous “Colemanballs” moment, this one:
“… in a word: zero innovation.”
5 Likes
Conversation with a 4yo:
“I’m busy”
“Doing what?”
“I’m busy doing busy.”
(And I am now very worried about what she is picking up immersed in the DC lifestyle…)
Also:
(playing with stuffed animals)
“They are attacking each other because they love each other so much!”
…I’m going to hope this is picked up from watching my wife interact with her family rather than a child’s commentary on marriage. Either way, the insights keep hitting.
10 Likes
“Mommy and Daddy are just wrestling, Honey, now go back to bed.”
7 Likes
“They’re social media influenza?”
7 Likes
“Did you just trip over the dog?”
“The dog?!?”
(There is no dog.)
11 Likes
(RPG session set in 1951. Half the party has just been captured. Our captors are making us visible, and beckoning to the other half.)
“It’s no good threatening me. Those guys all hate me.”
A: “He’s a successful late WWII German aircraft engineer.”
B: “Possibly the maddest of them.”
A: "Talk is cheap on that one.
C: “He’s a contender!”
“Do you know how hard it is to get piranhas in the Alps?”
“It’s not as though you can call up Piranhas R Us. Not until the 1960s.”
10 Likes
(We have ordered a new kitchen bin. There was some doubt over whether it would fit the rubbish sacks of which we recently bought A Lot.)
Me: Bin now installed, with an.old bag in it.
Housemate: Where did you get the random elderly woman?
Me: Just waft the smell.of port and lemon and stand ready with the harpoon.
10 Likes
If you get fired for calling someone a brainfart
its time to look for a new job
4 Likes
If you get fired for ANY reason, it’s time to look for a new job…
9 Likes
Or sue them for a lot of money and live off the proceeds. Depends… 
4 Likes
“I am glad you’re liking the afterlife.”
6 Likes
“I am a frost mage I need to keep killing monsters or else I’ll feel cold.”
(playing Path of Exile)
7 Likes
(Today’s RuneQuest game. We are taking a dangerous magical animal to be sacrificed, basically because a god told us to.)
“Do we seem like people who would do this sort of thing for fun? You do not need to answer that question.”
“This is not Warhammer. [The Skull Ruins] are not an entire geological formation made out of skulls.”
(Our enemies unsuccessfully attempt Divine Intervention) “We are experiencing a very high volume of calls at the moment…”
9 Likes
The cold never bothered me anyyywayyyyyy
7 Likes
“Forbidden lollipop…”
6 Likes
I’ve used that one as a GM before too!!
6 Likes