I asked my friend the tailor how business was going, and you know what he said?
“Sew-sew.”
I have built a fence that’s completely immune to chickens! It’s impeccable!
What is the best way to shoot down a flying dragon? Launch a bard at it… you know, a surface-to-air minstrel.
“Who is your favourite Vampire character?”
“The one in Sesame Street”
“Oh, no, he doesn’t count”
“I can assure you that he does”
A man went to the hospital after successfully eating 25 small plastic horses. Doctors have described his condition as stable.
Did he get a bit of a hoarse voice as well?
Hay!Let’s not saddle ourselves with even more jokes.
Neigh, that would be silly.
Alright, alright. Let’s rein it in.
But did you hear it from the horse’s mouth??
It really would behoove us to stop.
What was the mane point of this thread anyway? I don’t know if I can stirrup much interest in other jokes at the moment…
“I always keep my guitar in my car now. Very useful for traffic jams.”
What do you do when you see a spaceman?
Park the car, man.
(Works far better out loud, but you get the idea)
I know it is too soon, so apologies beforehand.
I heard the Moskva cruiser from the Russian Navy got upgraded to submarine warfare this weekend…
I found a lion in my wardrobe earlier.
I asked him what he was doing there. He replied “Narnia business”.
(courtesy of the old forums.)
Sorry to flog a dead horse, but when I told this one to a friend, his reply was: you actually meant downgraded, didn’t you?
The advantages of very simple origami are two-fold.
A bloke tried to sell me eight legs of venison in a pub. I said ‘That’s too dear!’ (okay, that one potentially works better orally).
I went to an Italian restaurant and had some pasta by myself. It was canneloni.
(I may have pinched the last two off this very forum thread, but I’m too lazy to check).
Oh, no, deer jokes, beware.
The ones I know about with jokes have way less limbs and eyes, though…
I guess wolf spiders eat deer spiders
I don’t know about deer spiders, but stag beetles would be epic
