But did you hear it from the horse’s mouth??
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It really would behoove us to stop.
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What was the mane point of this thread anyway? I don’t know if I can stirrup much interest in other jokes at the moment…
“I always keep my guitar in my car now. Very useful for traffic jams.”
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What do you do when you see a spaceman?
Park the car, man.
(Works far better out loud, but you get the idea)
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I know it is too soon, so apologies beforehand.
I heard the Moskva cruiser from the Russian Navy got upgraded to submarine warfare this weekend…
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I found a lion in my wardrobe earlier.
I asked him what he was doing there. He replied “Narnia business”.
(courtesy of the old forums.)
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Sorry to flog a dead horse, but when I told this one to a friend, his reply was: you actually meant downgraded, didn’t you?
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The advantages of very simple origami are two-fold.
A bloke tried to sell me eight legs of venison in a pub. I said ‘That’s too dear!’ (okay, that one potentially works better orally).
I went to an Italian restaurant and had some pasta by myself. It was canneloni.
(I may have pinched the last two off this very forum thread, but I’m too lazy to check).
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Oh, no, deer jokes, beware.
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The ones I know about with jokes have way less limbs and eyes, though…
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I guess wolf spiders eat deer spiders
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I don’t know about deer spiders, but stag beetles would be epic
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HR Manager: So, what is your name?
Me: Hired. My name is Hired.
HR: You’re hired?
Me: Great! See you on Monday!
HR: So we need somebody very responsible for this position.
Me: Oh, you should definitely hire me then. At my last job every time something went wrong everyone would say I was responsible!
HR: So do you have any weaknesses?
Me: I don’t always listen super closely.
HR: Really?
Me: I would love a beer, thank you!
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HR: “Do you have any weaknesses?”
“I’m very honest”
HR “That doesn’t sound like a weakness to me”
“I don’t give a fuck what you think”
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I was hesitating before posting this, but we should be able to find humour everywhere.
A Russian soldier returns to Moscow, wounded after fighting in Ukraine. His wife asks him, “what were you fighting for? They are not telling us much. What is military operation all about”
“We are fighting for our glorious leader, a proxy war between Russia and NATO”
“Oh, right, how is it going?”
“Well, so far we have lost over 20.000 soldiers, we lost over 2000 tanks, 200 aircraft, and our flagship in the Black Sea among many other pieces of equipment”
“Oh, wow. And what about NATO?”
“NATO? Those pigs haven’t turned up yet!”
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Random question from a British person to Americans and Canadians and Australians and everyone else.
Do you have sketch comedy shows?
If you do what are the best sketches (not the whole show) that I as a British person should watch?
British people, what sketches do you think others should see?
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Fast Show
Big Train
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As a Canadian, yes. Yes we do.
Kids in the Hall (they have a new season, but the original is from the 90s).
Bob & Doug McKenzie:
And, of course, Red Green
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