Song titles with contrived narratives reminded me that I wrote a couple of tremendously dumb stories for the original “What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?” thread, which got trashed along with the rest of the official SUSD forums, but which I still have local copies of. So with apologies to those who’ve read them before, I’m going to re-post them here…
But firstly, also from the original thread but in a rather more-concise format, the following is some of my best/worst work. I regret nothing! / I am full of regret…
How do cows integrate?
Using cowculus.
How do owls solve linear equations?
With owlgebra.
How do giraffes plot equations?
They draw them on giraffe paper.
Why don’t polecats need parentheses?
They use poleish notation.
Why do gnus have such different maths skills?
They were taught the gnu mathematics.
What’s the most dangerous side of a triangle?
The hippopotenuse.
How do moles speed up repetitive addition?
Moletiplication.
What do you call a quadrilateral sheep?
A paralleloram.
How does an ibex describe compounding growth?
It uses the ibexponential function.
How do cats recognise right angles?
They’re purrpendicular.
Why do ants only use whole numbers?
Because they prefer antegers.
How do dolphins predict where all the other dolphins will be?
Using podability theory.
How do chickens represent sets?
With a henn diagram.