Seventeen months from Hell

So here we are twenty-four hours after my other sister, her husband, and their son were supposed to leave. My brother-in-law has just set up his home office.

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Now my eldest brother and his wife have decided that they are coming here tomorrow and staying for about a week.

I’m not sure if there’s a collective noun for relatives, but perhaps “pandemonium” might do?

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I believe the collective noun for relatives is “nuisance”

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Something suggesting voracity is needed. “A famine of relatives”, perhaps, or “a maw or relatives”.

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Why not “a voracity of relatives”?

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Ouch. Life unfair to Agemegos.

I mean the obvious advice is “say no” but equally obviously there are reasons why you don’t do that.

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An “accumulation” sounds plausible.

Hmmm. Maybe a trophic level of relatives?

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You all have far more positive relationships with your families than I do…

My suggestions would include “a plague of relatives”, or “a cataclysm of relatives”. Possibly “a catastrophe” or “a biblical” or maybe “a horde” if I’m feeling particularly generous.

Swarm, murder, nest, army, hive, pit…

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Rather than negative, it’s non-existent. There aren’t many of us, we’re all a long way from each other, and we talk as much as we feel like, which isn’t much.

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Yeah. Boxing Day at my place, with two brothers and two sisters-in-law absent:

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I think it was probably that photo which overcame my Eldest Brother’s better judgement with an irresistible impulse not to be left out.

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Well, it would certainly do for my family. Might even qualify as an original joke, which is rare.

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I did. Eldest Brother agreed that traipsing all over the state to mingle in a shouting horde of thirty-odd people who have come from other parts of the state during a covid outbreak while staying with two people who have serious heart conditions is irresponsible. And last we spoke we agreed that even though the premier only begged and did not command people to stay at home for Christmas it behoves Eldest Brother, as president of the Rural Doctor’s Association, to set an example. But then he saw the picture above and phoned my sister to say that he and his wife are coming tomorrow to stay about a week. I got told, not asked.

Christmas is a mental defect or disease of the mind. It produces irresistible impulses that meet the definition of insanity under R v. Byrne. My family could not prevent themselves from Christmassing if there were a policeman at their elbow.

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Sweet jumping Jesus!

I really feel for you. Normally at Christmas I have to host 15 of my partners relatives about twice and I’m pulling my hair out. If I had it for consecutive days then people would, let us just say, find my company less than hospitable.

As an only child I hate spending lots of times with groups at the best of times, but 30 people. I propose a “pandemic” of relatives as a suitable 2020 term for such a group.

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I’m sure you already realize this, but maybe it will help to hear it from someone else as well: that isn’t a Christmas thing. That’s a boundaries and entitlement thing.

Christmas is literally mine and my partner’s favorite holiday; and it’s the favorite holiday for a number of our relatives. And a lot of the appeal to us and our family is the togetherness you feel during the holiday with friends and family – and even still, everyone in my family and my partner’s family did the responsible thing and we all agreed that missing out on Christmas traditions this year means that next year will be even more special.

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If you’re at all inclined to read internet advice columns, I’ve always found Captain Awkward to be excellent on the subject of boundaries and families who don’t believe that they apply to them.

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I think perhaps now I have. No sleep last night, and I’m out of spoons.

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Well at least you have a title for your autobiography.

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I’m sorry if I’ve raised your stress level.

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