‘The window between “don’t need a medic” and “will never need a medic again” in space combat is quite small.’
11 Likes
“I can’t take you anywhere. Well, I can take you anywhere, but I can’t leave you there.”
(To my wife who was being especially rambunctious at a restaurant.)
8 Likes
“Is it me or we just were stuffing our faces the other day on Christmas and here come a million chocolate eggs…?”
5 Likes
To be fair, in our local Tesco that was pretty much the next day…
3 Likes
Seen on Mastodon:
the middle schooler: then I installed linux on my [school] chromebook
me: um are you allowed to do that?
middle schooler: I asked our tech teacher and he doesn’t know what linux is so I decided yes
17 Likes
“Could have been worse; could have been a pentagram”
(applying crosses to hot cross buns)
5 Likes
Ah well you see in pagan tradition… (cont. p. 94)
4 Likes
“Last Traveller campaign I played I did the ship’s books in emacs org-mode.”
It’s true!
7 Likes
“I’m your background dancer.”
4 Likes
“It fell apart like it was from Ikea.”
2 Likes
“Please don’t kick me down the stairs like you did in Virginia.”
- my 3yo, while in Delaware
8 Likes
Wow. Reminds me of when we took my kid to the emergency room with a broken arm and as we are walking to his room, he just bursts out, “Stop your whining.” You’ve never seen a nurse’s head whip around so quickly.
5 Likes
“It’s a proper point-and-squirt situation”
4 Likes
Mother: “Look at this face!”
Child: “I can’t. It’s holding my eyes.”
5 Likes
“You can get 10 if you count the second bum hole”
6 Likes
I don’t want to know the context of this quote. It feels strangely like part of my own life.
5 Likes
“Bring mindfulness into the workplace! Hide bear traps in the C-suite toilets.”
6 Likes
“I have to candy my walnuts.”
“Is that the boy version of vajazzling?”
11 Likes
“Crime is not quite so institutionalised in this city that people have carts full of straw driving around for people to leap out of buildings into.”
10 Likes
‘I knew it, we shouldn’t have touched that sticky equipment.’
5 Likes