I’m not saying I’m in the sunset of my life. But I’ve definitely eaten lunch
8 Likes
“What could be taller than a giraffe standing on a giraffe?”
6 Likes
Sounds like they’d be in danger of hitting their head on the gi-rafters…
5 Likes
A giraffe standing on a giraffe in high heels?
My partner once told me about a dream in which our cats had turned into giraffes, and they had to live in the hallway because that’s where the hatch into the ceiling space was.
6 Likes
[muttered] “No gateway biscuit”
4 Likes
“You know what, it would have to be three times better than that to be considered as complete crap… but let me just plug the output from that into the camera, so you can have a miserable experience all to yourself”
7 Likes
“Well, my knickers are dry so I’m calling that a win.”
7 Likes
“Cheese isn’t supposed to sound like that”
5 Likes
Grilled halloumi, by any chance?
4 Likes
Apart from in Mamma Mia no one rode a Triceratops
2 Likes
A large tin of nacho cheese, apparently.
3 Likes
Hey! That’s not your cheese!
3 Likes
No, halloumi IS meant to sound like that.
Squeaky cheese is a Good Thing!
5 Likes
“You know when you switch off an air-conditioner [that has been on dehumidify all day], it starts blasting out air that raises the humidity of the room through the roof? Doesn’t that just make it easier for mold to spread? Wouldn’t it be better to blast out dry air?”
3 Likes
“You’re only saying that because I’m crazy enough to run unstable Fedora betas at home.”
5 Likes
“That would be a particularly audacious double-bluff.”
(In response to the implication that the old friend I’d bumped into earlier that day must in fact have been an imposter pretending to be my friend by very cunningly not looking like them. (They were unexpectedly beardless for N95 mask-wearing purposes, and I had literally not recognised them when they greeted me.))
(I did at least think “that sounds like…” just before asking who it was behind the mask, but I was still very surprised to find that it actually was them :)
8 Likes
My daughter asked me to get up to turn off a light.
As soon as I did, she slid into the place I was sitting.
When I came back: “Daddy. I drinked your milkshake.”
11 Likes
“I regard my foot as basically a tetrahedron.”
5 Likes
This sounds just like my kid! Well, not the milkshake part. But he wants the warm spot.
3 Likes
Has your daughter watched ‘There Will Be Blood’?
5 Likes