I have noticed in the course of my long (but not long enough yet!) life that whenever I even think, let alone say, “Oh, I would never be tempted to do that…” the universe decides that this assertion needs testing and sends along the temptation.
My record of resisting temptation is impressively low.
“Now laddie, you’re fourteen years old, it’s time to take up a futile career of space piracy like your dad before you. Whoever he was.”
“i don’t think i mind railroady”
and
“Choo choo let’s gooooo”
This was the response, on Discord, when I told my players that the campaign was entering a new phase and that “Warning: it may be a bit railroady to get the group headed in the right direction but I’m hoping you’ll work with me and bring your own suggestions about the details.”
“What does apocryphal mean?”
“It means having 50 hamsters shoved up your arse”
I don’t think that’s accurate…
I’m guessing no one actually said that.
“Never interrupt your annoying NPC when he’s taking care of himself.”
“All the feet are the hands.”
“Can you help us with our starworm infection?”
“The rat looks at you with the expression of a rat that has Seen Stuff.”
“We should have brought some frozen idiots.”
“We didn’t bring frozen surrealists! How could we have been so foolish?”
If you keep them frozen, you can use them to tell time.
‘Mr Banana needs a wash.’
“It’s Sunday. I don’t need precision. One hand is enough.”
“If necessary they get the child in a nice friendly headlock…”
Reminiscent of one of my sayings:
“I’m going to throttle that child. Lovingly! It’s okay if it’s done lovingly.”
Listening to a live D&D session:
“He needs to be unconscious before we try that - and I’m willing to help!”
Surprising body count for a ping pong movie.
“Never did the word ‘Mustard’ sound so seductive”