Actual things you actually said (or heard) in the last 24 hours

[Phil]

A situation so dire that the phrasebook doesn’t even consider it!

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

(copied from somewhere else.) Tea Phrasebook: “Cup of tea?” - Welcoming a guest. “Tea?” - I find this situation awkward. “Spot of tea?” - A foreign guest has activated Hyper-English Mary Poppins mode. “Pot of tea?” - Trying to impress in-laws. “I’ll make some tea.” - There has been complete devastation.