The other day I was on my way home when an airedale terrier wearing a crown wandered up to me. She looked pretty friendly so I stopped to pat her, and before I knew what was happening she put her front legs up and licked my face. I grimaced and wiped my face, and went on my way. I’d barely gone half a block when I saw a poodle wearing a crown. I was a bit hesitant after the airedale, but I couldn’t resist patting the poodle too, until it also reared up and licked my face. Wiping away the dog drool, I turned to go on my way, only to see two springer spaniels and a ginger tabby, all wearing crowns. Before I knew it the cat was winding around my legs, and as I tried to extricate myself the spaniels both jumped up at me, licking my face. I fended them off and quickly hurried down a side-road alongside a wall, until a bearded collie wearing a crown stepped into view at the intersection ahead of me. I stopped and glanced behind, and saw the spaniels waiting. All of a sudden there was a flash of ginger from the wall, and the tabby was on me, licking my face. I stumbled against a tree, and two more cats dropped on top of me and followed suit, both of them wearing crowns. Suddenly the collie barrelled into me, and I fell to the ground, whereupon all four animals lunged at my head, licking my face. In a panic I got to my feet and started running, but as I reached the intersection a giant schnauzer wearing a crown bowled me off my feet and began licking me. As I tried to fend it off, a scottish terrier, an english sheepdog, a persian, a manx, and a russian blue piled in, all wearing crowns, and all licking my face. I curled into a ball and tried to cover up as best as I could, but the gathering of animals grew and grew, and I was assailed by dog and cat drool from every angle, until I felt that I must be completely covered in the stuff. I don’t know how long it lasted but, finally, I sensed that the animals were beginning to disperse. After a minute I tentatively opened my eyes and looked around, to see the last of the animals with their crowns disappearing into the side streets. Climbing slowly to my feet, I stumbled along the final block to my house. As I stepped through the front door my wife looked up and exclaimed with a gasp “Why, you’re absolutely drenched!” “Yes”, I replied – “it’s reigning cats and dogs out there.”