Song lyrics taken (and rewritten) literally

For example, “If I Could Turn Back Time” (Cher) with a more literal bent:

If I could turn back time
If I could find a way
I’d take back those words that’ve hurt you
And you’d stay
If I could reach the stars
I’d give them all to you
They range in temperature from around 3,000 to 40,000 degrees Kelvin
And exert unimaginable gravitation forces
Bringing them together like this will be interesting
But I doubt you’ll have time to notice

I wrote that one a while back and, having stumbled across it again, it occurred to me that it could be a fun thread :).

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There’s a scientifically accurate version of Monty Python’s Universe Song knocking around somewhere

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“Pump Up The Jam” (Technotronic)

Pump up the jam
Pump it up
While your feet are stomping
And the jam is pumping
Look ahead, the crowd is jumpin’

Pump it up a little more
Everyone waiting on the dining room floor
Their toast, scones, and bagels at the ready
At the communal lunch-time jam dispensary

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“I Will Survive” (Gloria Gaynor)

At first I was afraid, I was petrified
Kept thinkin’ I could never live without you by my side
But then I spent so many nights thinkin’ how you did me wrong
And I grew strong and I learned how to get along

And so you’re back, from outer space
And when you said that I remembered you’re an astronaut
Your orbiting the earth explains why you weren’t here each day
Now I feel kinda bad that I’ve been trashing your good name

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