It’s a race and a diving competition.
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Peter Jackson is turning it into a trilogy.
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They made a movie about emojis. Battleship is a thing. They’re making a movie based on Monopoly.
We’re living in the darkest timeline.
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Things could always be darker.
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There is no Cards Against Humanity movie. We have a touch of room.
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That is a premise which is easy to imagine as a movie. I want to know how in the Nine Hells someone imagined that Battleship or Monopoly needed to be made into cinematic experiences. I’d like to watch the process of convincing actual people, who have not only seen actual movies before, but been a part of making them, that Battleship was an IP which was ripe for a movie adaptation.
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My response to this is:
No, we’re not. We’re living in the dumbest timeline for sure.
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Kevin Smith and Seth Rogen would fist-fight each other for the rights to make the Cards Against Humanity movie. Aging stand-up comedians, who want to be relevant again and think an ‘edgy’ film which was still mainstream Hollywood would be the least risky way to get them headlines again, would not only make up most of the main cast, but most of the bit characters too. Dane Cook would be there and no one could make him leave. He would be willing to do horrible, degrading things for any of the producers if they’ll make him a significant character, as himself, obviously. If they pay him enough, Jerry Seinfeld will full-on engage in sexual activity with a bee or any other creepy-crawly of an executive producer’s choice.
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The astonishing thing about the Battleship movie is, it’s not worse. It’s actually fine.
They have a real reason for shooting blind on a grid, they got some original navy staff onscreen to operate the ship, it has Rihanna in it and she can’t act at all - it’s a “so bad it’s good” movie.
But yeah, a Monopoly movie is just the darkest possible timeline unless they’re using it to teach the same lessons as The Landlord’s Game.
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I’d assume it’s just a case of slapping together a script you have lying around with a recognisable name that means you have an avenue for promotion.
Like how it is with many a terrible sequel.
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Those aren’t the people who need to be convinced. The people who decide what gets made do not understand film, they genuinely cannot tell good film from bad (and they write it off as “for the plebs” to cover this lack of comprehension). What they can tell is which actors, which concepts, which keywords made lots of money last time they came into the public eye.
So when Mars Needs Moms failed (as a quick glance at the concept would instantly convince any of us was inevitable), that was interprted as “the word Mars is toxic to audiences” and John Carter of Mars got retitled to John Carter and, IIRC, all reference to Mars excised from the later trailers.
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I have a friend who works in film and TV. He says it’s almost impossible to predict how good a movie will be from the things you know when you decide to make it. He’s worked on stuff he expected to be horrible, which was good, and stuff that’s supposed to be good that’s horrible, in all the different ways things can be horrible. (the exceptions are sequels of crap, which everyone knows are going to be crap.) He’s a gaffer, not in production or on screen, so he just shows up when they tell him too.
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“I have usernames older than you”.
(I do have a hotmail email account that’s older than some of my friends).
(I also used ICQ, and Geocities, yahoogroups, newsgroups, MUDs, MSN messenger and gchat, Livejournal. I used Netscape. I know a dial-up modem sound well).
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Kids these days. don’t know their history 
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If I never made a Geocities webpage or posted on Livejournal, or, indeed, any of the above except MSN messenger and gchat, does it still count if I used all of the above, for RPG research purposes? That is, sometimes search engines would yield useful information on what I wanted in the form of a newsgroup, yahoogroups, Livejournal or Geocities pages, etc.
At least I used Netscape extensively during the dial-up era, to browse all sorts of Internet debris which turned into setting detail. With a shared computer which was located in ‘the computer room’, but was a great advance over the previous one, an early IBM PC with a monochrome CRT monitor.
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I can only say this to snotty teenagers. The oldest username I have which is still in use will be able to legally drink in three weeks, on March 26, 2026. The drinking age is 20 in Iceland. The username has legally been an adult for all other purposes for two years, though, so I’m pretty sure it has started drinking already.
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This username will be 21 in July.
From when I went to sign up to last.fm and found my usual username was taken (by me, about a year earlier, and then forgotten about).
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Griffster77 is over 30…
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The username, not me. I first used it on chatrooms when I went to Uni
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Yeah, my hotmail email would have been about 1995.
I made many embarrassing Geocities pages.
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