I usually can’t even contemplate alcohol with the kids around - dulled reflexes and sleepiness aren’t compatible with their energy, and that’s just on the day I get drunk, the hangover day is even worse.
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The booze might be for the kids.
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Well, it’s probably a bit of an unhealthy habit, but the intent is never to drink to be drunk; just enough to exogenously relax a bit and forget the stresses of work, parenthood, and the general stresses of daily life. To your point, my partner and I often (not always) ensure one of us is in a state to respond to emergencies.
Broadly speaking, I have roughly 4 patterns of drinking:
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A couple of beers. This is usually a weekend afternoon situation that starts around the same time as nap time for the younger two. Two cans of beer over the course of 4 hours has essentially no effect on me.
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Two-fingers of whiskey. A slow-sipping experience. This is normally my “the kids are in bed and I can finally relax and play a game or read a book” option; and usually during the summer. Again, not “drunk” just relaxed a bit more than usual.
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A bit of Irish Cream on the rocks. This one is usually more along the lines of “our bedtime routine is starting soon and I don’t know if I can handle that on top of having worked all day”. So, “just to take the edge off” would be how I would call it if I were an alcoholic in a movie – but also how I actually think about it. So, not drunk, but sometimes I wish I were.
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Margaritas. This is the “dangerous one” because my partner and I have gotten drunk with this method. I’ve never had a hangover from this particular set of alcohols and mixes – I attribute that to the high-quality tequila we buy. Occasionally, my partner and I have both been drunk and/or tipsy at the same time while indulging in this. But because of how drinking effects my partner’s sleep, she only drinks during the afternoon now.
So, never (or, rather, extremely rarely) do I get drunk. And parenting with a hangover is worse yet, so never to the point of getting a hangover (which is why Margaritas are so dangerous, since I’ve never gotten a hangover from one).
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Probably a matter of building and maintaining tolerance levels. In my 20s I drank a lot, it took a lot more to get drunk, and I hardly ever had hangovers. In my 40s, after a decade of hardly ever drinking, there’s no threshold at which I won’t feel an effect, or suffer at least a very mild hangover, so I can’t really have even one beer without such concerns.
I didn’t intend to force a defence of moderate drinking! I know it can be done, and is not inherently unsafe. (I want to insert here that my parents were/are self-destructing/family-destructing alcoholics, but also, again, that I know that isn’t representative.)
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Today, I am just as anxiety-ridden as yesterday. Despite the outcome being largely as predicted… and not worse… … there is no reason to relax. No reason to think that at any point in the near future there will be …
I did preorder the reprint of Die Macher. I think I need to get both this and Weimar played soon. Both seem highly relevant at the moment.
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Things aren’t really better than they were but I am tempted to add a “yet” as there are some weak signals they might be at some point in some aspects (still I need layers of disclaimers). Unexpectedly: The ability to find compromise is one of those signals. I appreciate it even if there are a lot of details I don’t appreciate. The bar is still so very low, it’s frustrating. But my inner optimist is straining to get out and be hopeful.
(yes yes, still cryptics b/c politics, I almost didn’t remember when I made the previous post but then looked at the date and I can’t believe it’s not even 3 weeks since then. It feels like AGES have passed).
What I actually came here to say is: 
… it’s tax week-end. Every year in March I get nervous about doing my taxes and then at some point I tell myself “this week-end you will get (most of) it done.” Since there was a lot of upheaval last year concerning our finances, it is a bit more complicated than usual. And my usual was already on the complicated side.
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My partner Emily is having an unusual day, as she’s staying with me in London while her street in Hastings has been closed while a bomb gets defused. Someone 10 doors down has enough explosive chemical to put the whole block in danger, apparently. Police have evacuated everyone and the army bomb disposal is in, it’s been ongoing since last night. So that’s… different. She keeps checking the news to see whether her flat has blown up.
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I’ve had to cancel social plans, but “mad bomber” is quite a good excuse.
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“Fine, if you don’t want to hang out just say so! Don’t make up dumb excuses!”
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I was concerned at causing offence, but their response to my news was
“That wasn’t on my bingo card but hey ho”
so I think they’re taking it remarkably well.
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(cough) (cough) back in a minute, just have to check the cooling on my… greenhouse.
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About 15 years ago, I needed to leave my office, take the ‘L’ across town to sign a lease and pick up keys, then get down town to catch a train out of town. The train stopped just short of the station I was going to, sat for several minutes, then the driver announced service was suspended, and we were going to reverse to the previous station. I ran from there to the leasing office. I couldn’t get there directly, the street was blocked with many emergency vehicles. After I left there, I had to figure out what bus was the right replacement, and made my train by about 10 seconds.
I later learned that someone had bought a building, and was cleaning it out. They found a box of German potatoe masher hand grenades, and took one to their bar. Someone pointed out they weren’t the most stable thing when new, and 75 years in a basement probably had not improved them. I would loved to have heard that 911 call.
(Also in that basement were a couple machine guns, and a mortar. )
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Yikes!
Apparently this was a lone individual who may have made something purely for their own interest, whose Mum may have helped move it around in the past, but the item was so very, very explosive that the entire street was evacuated for two days.
I did chemistry at Uni, you’ve gotta be going some to get that result. Anyway, all clear now, my partner’s flat did not go boom.
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When I was working in London, we got evacuated from our building because of a bomb threat and the gather point was disturbingly close to the building. We would have certainly caught some flak if it had gone boom. I sensibly went to ‘be safe’ in the pub round the corner!
The next day, we were evacuated at exactly the same time. Apparently, someone listened again to the voicemail message of the previous days bomb threat…
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So Saturday was my last day at the game store. It was bittersweet… the boss took me out for lunch (fried chicken place nearby, pretty okay), told me that the “board game” part of the store was basically entirely me.
I knew this, but it was nice to hear.
He also admitted that they didn’t bother trying to replace me because… well, he wasn’t clear on the why, but he was clear that they hired two 18-year-olds to do restocking, sweeping, and… apparently that counts as replacing me? I said it above, I’m not going to rehash it, but I think some part of the owner knows that me leaving is bad, but I don’t think he really understands how bad. But maybe I’m wrong and everything will work out great. I honestly wish him nothing but success, they treated me like family.
The customers were great. So many expressed sadness at my leaving, or gratitude for my time at the store, often both. One kid brought me a hand-written note that was adorable, I got a $10 gift certificate for the store as a kind gesture (honestly, still grateful for it), and another brought me $25 for a well-known coffee chain. Lots of exchanged phone numbers with customers I really like, and handed out a bunch of my author cards (just a business card with my author name and links to my books). Lots of traffic to the blog, no new book sales… but that’s okay. My brand of cotton-candy sci-fi definitely isn’t for everyone.
Sunday I played that massive TI4 game I posted about, it was… hard… but Monday was me basically decompressing and trying to psyche myself up for the next stage. I have Adepticon (leaving tomorrow morning at 5:30am), and then I start my new job as a data-entry-monkey next Wednesday.
It’s a lot. There is so much I want to do, and I might finally have the time and energy to do more of it. No money, of course, but that’s 98% of the reason I left the job I had… they were paying me slightly more than minimum wage, but expecting so much more than that. The new job at least has better per-hour wage.
I am packed for Adepticon… writing laptop, a case of Infinity models, a case of Battletech models, and a backpack of clothes, a few books and a handful of games (Ito, LotR-FotR-TTG, Star Realms Frontiers, DroPolter, Sea Salt and Paper, and Railroad Ink… just post-con decompressing games, in case my roommates want). Just have to remember my cellphone charger in the morning. 50/50 on that.
Anyway. Cautiously optimistic. Nice change of pace.
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Best of luck for the future, Marx! Hugs and good thoughts, and have a great con.
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I wish you all the best and a great time at the con!
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House move is now complete. Just need to get furniture assembled so we actually have places to put things when we unpack them …
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I thought that’s what the floor was for…
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