“I respect that they tested their doomsday device. If anything went wrong, they’d have 9* hours to fix it. That’s just best practice.” – Me, watching the season 1 finale of Stargirl.
'* Turns out it was only 8-and-a-half hours because the villains did a fake-out on the countdown clock.
User of the web site: our IP is 192.168…
Me: that’s your local network address, we’ll need to know the external address our web site sees.
Them: our IT department assure me that’s the right address, can you help?
Me: I can’t help them since they don’t know the basics of Internet networking, but maybe I can help you…
“The Post Most: Is MAGA in its cringe era?”
In the Washington Post. As a headline.
I don’t have any political commentary, I’m just flabbergasted and a little sad at how few of those words the Washington Post would have used, in any context, just a few years ago.
(Side note: such a great episode)
“Cat, you can count the number of times I’ve shut your tail in the door on one tail. In fact you can count it on no tails.”
“I am stepping on the toes of God.”
My brother-in-law when he moved one point ahead of my wife in Lords of Waterdeep. He went on to win the game overall.
“They need to be shot. I don’t mean death, but maybe just as a wake-up call.”
(I imagine that “alarm clock” is one of the lesser-known Lawgiver ammo types in the 2000AD universe.)
“The cat told me that the voices in my head weren’t God, they were just my subconscious so I shouldn’t pay attention to them.”
(How to get out of boring conversations at parties…)
“I don’t want any help, I want to have a Shakespearean Vent”.
On offering to do the tea run at work:
‘Instant coffee, please.’
‘Well, I’ll be as quick as I can…’
(The person who hired the PC noir gumshoe turns out to be a senior Nazi)
Gumshoe: “I’m sorry, you need to check the contract for the Nazi Surcharge. You now owe me 17 million Reichsmarks.”
Another PC: “What, $3.95?”
Or two wheelbarrows …
That reminds me of a joke (which might have come from the SUSD forums, but I can’t remember):
Two Communists are sitting on a fence, talking.
“Comrade,” says the first, “If you had two houses, what would you do?”
“Obviously,” responds the second, “I would keep one, and give the other to the Party!”
“Excellent! And if you had two cars?”
“I would keep one, and give the other to the Party!”
“Quite right!” says the first, clearly pleased. “And if you had two bicycles?”
“Now hold on, comrade,” says the second. “I have two bicycles.”
A post was merged into an existing topic: What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
That’s my second favourite Soviet joke!
My first favourite:
What weights 25 tonnes, consumes a liter of petrol every minute, belches black smoke constantly, and cuts apples into three pieces?
A Soviet machine designed to cut apples into four pieces.
The advanced model will emit an occasional spray of apple pûrée in a random direction.
(1940s game)
“The Imperial Airways equator crossing ceremony is rather more refined than the naval one.”
"Nobody’s bits get painted blue at all."
“There’s no deadpan like Morse Code deadpan.”
“Looking at the modern map, is this next to the fuel tanks at Dead Man’s Beach Cemetery?”
“I love how you just used ‘dilapidated’ while attempting to define ‘shack.’”
