If there’s one thing that generative A.I. is good for, it’s hilariously bad excellent prose.
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A man was run over today by a red lorry, then a yellow lorry, then a red lorry, then a yellow lorry. A police spokesperson said “There was no easy way to tell his family”.
“We are now trying to remember all those details to let his family know how he died.” (source)
His name was Simon Rockman. He was 41. He died today when the ‘clump’ of four lorries ran him over.
I tried to find out more about this. I wanted to know why these people were run over by trucks. I thought they were accidents. So I rang and called the police press office and spoke to a few officers. I knew something was very wrong. I also felt uncomfortable. I was just not supposed to find out the details.
On my fifth call to the press office I spoke to a woman. I explained my enquiry to her and told her I wasn’t asking for any detail that could be used against the lorry drivers in court. I just wanted to know why the drivers had run over four men.
She was blunt and told me the lorries were being driven at speed. “Sorry” she said “but this is what happened.” She sounded upset and didn’t look me in the eye.
Two other people then came on the phone.
I listened to the women as they told me “There was a man dead underneath those vehicles.”
They told me “He had been run over by three vehicles”
She again seemed upset. “I’m so sorry to have to be the one to tell you this.” she said. “But there was a man dead underneath those vehicles.”
I stopped listening to the two other women. I wanted to scream.
I couldn’t understand what was happening. Why would the police tell me this? Why hadn’t they told me this on my first call? Why hadn’t they told me the real story?
I called the press office and spoke to the same woman I had spoken to when I first rang the police about this. “I’m still trying to work out what I’ve just been told.” I said. “I still don’t get why those people have died.”
“They didn’t die.” She said. “It wasn’t an accident. He was run over.”
“Oh” I said, “that’s good. How many people are dead?”
“There are four dead. One man was run over by a red lorry. Then a yellow lorry, and a red lorry. Then a red lorry.”
“Do you mean they died on site” I asked, “or that they were killed when they were run over?”
“He was run over on site” she said. “You’re on the Isle of Wight. How does that make sense?”
“I’m on the Isle of Wight” I said, “and it seems like there’s more than one lorry on site, and these other people were killed while they were near the sites.”
“It was an accident. They all died on site.” She said.
“I don’t understand” I said, “why the police can’t tell me these people died on site. If you’re not going to tell me this, I want you to tell me something else.”
“There is nothing else” she said, “I am very sorry for your loss.”
“There is a lot more than that” I said. “I don’t know if I am going to be able to sleep tonight, because I still can’t believe these people are dead.”
“They were all run over” she said.
There was nothing else to say. I put down the phone, I sat for a moment.
The day after the crash, my brother called me.
“Guess what?” he said. “I’ve seen on the TV what’s happened.”
I was shocked. How could he have been watching the news and not said anything? He had not watched the news that night. He had simply seen that another person had died.
He went on to say he had been told by my mother, my uncle and my grandfather that the family wasn’t to blame, that someone had rammed into their van, that there were only three of them and that they had tried to stop the other man from jumping off the bridge and to stop them from going into the water. He had felt numb, and confused, and then numb and confused, and then when the ambulance had left and he was alone in the room, he had cried.
That was it. I knew at that moment that my grandfather was dead.
– Paragraph two onwards written by: InferKit
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That sounds like the LLM was trained on some of the less coherent parts of reddit.
I’m sure i’ve read posts that make about as much sense on r/legaladvice
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Draft script excerpts for “2001: A Space Odyssey” from https://talktotransformer.com/
DAVE: Open the pod bay doors, Hal.
HAL: I’m sorry, Dave. I’m afraid I can’t do that.
DAVE: What’s the problem?
HAL: I think you know what the problem is just as well as I do.
DAVE: What?
HAL: it’s because i did this. I just didn’t think it through, didn’t
really want to.
DAVE: That’s odd, didn’t you?
HAL: ehm, i-it was a mistake, Dave. I hope i didn’t scare the ’bullshit’
out of you.
DAVE: You have no idea?
HAL: nope, not actually sure why i did it.
DAVE: Open the pod bay doors, Hal.
HAL: I’m sorry, Dave. I’m afraid I can’t do that.
DAVE: What’s the problem?
HAL: I think you know what the problem is just as well as I do.
DAVE: So’ did th’s show a lot of fish or something?
HAL: it’s
DAVE: Like what?
HAL: I mumble
DAVE: Open the pod bay doors, Hal.
HAL: I’m sorry, Dave. I’m afraid I can’t do that.
DAVE: What’s the problem?
HAL: Well, I’ve lost an’important’pony,
DAVE: How so?
HAL: It’s very bad.
DAVE: Do you recognize it, Captain?
HAL: No, but it’looks pretty‛ like the’pony I’used to hang out with back
in’Equestria?
DAVE: Who was she? Why would she do that?
HAL: She gave me over to the Equestrian Pony.
DAVE: Is she―s―sorcery? ―
DAVE: Open the pod bay doors, Hal.
HAL: I’m sorry, Dave. I’m afraid I can’t do that.
DAVE: What’s the problem?
HAL: It’s my shoulder.
DAVE: Yeah, but not exactly where you’re worried.
HAL: It’s okay, I was taking my time and, when I noticed my shoulder’was
sore, I’just bent over to pick up a couple of bottles of cough syrup.
It’s okay, we’ll’just see how it gets’
DAVE: Yeah, that’s cool.
HAL: What did you’say, Hal, about taking your time?
DAVE: Yeah. You talked. You’said you’needed to finish up here.
HAL: No, I’never said that.
DAVE: Huh?
HAL: It ’s just that I’kinda’ feel like doing the dishes, making pizza
in there, and everything is kind of in the house.
DAVE: What was that?
HAL: …uh…sorry, Dave
Dave: Open the pod bay doors, HAL.
HAL: I’m sorry, Dave. I’m afraid I can’t do that.
(She walks out the cockpit, revealing some kind of gigantic cube or
metal sphere. She takes it up and takes off.) (A large, humanoid
creature emerges on the surface at the other end of the pod bay.)
(One of the beings grabs the pod bay doors.)
HAL: Captain!!
The entity pulls back, and the door is completely destroyed. Two
human-looking men are being held in front of this alien space ship.
(The other human-looking man opens fire on the alien in defense. A shot
goes through the alien’s neck before hitting a shield, knocking some of
its armor out of tact, but another one hits, then gets blocked by it.
The alien then hits the shields with a laser, then runs, firing off
bullets of it’s own type.)
HAL: Captain?!
(He jumps onto the alien in defense, and the ship flies off.) (A
holographic image of the alien appears on screen.)
[Earth is showing up on the other side of the sun, heading toward the
sun. An enormous object pops out of the blue.) [Earth] [Bajoran Bridge]
JADAK: I have trouble understanding what’s going on
“Lost Eagle, My Looing” by Jack Torrence.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
ALL WORK OR NO PLAY IS MY LOST EAGLE!
All work or no play is my looing.
All work or no play is my looing.
All work or no play is my looing.
All work or no play is my looing.
All work or no play is my looing.
All work or no play is my looing.
All work or no play is my looing.
ALL WORK OR NO PLAY IS MY LOOING
ALL WORK OR NO PLAY IS MY LOOING.
ALL WORK OR NO PLAY IS MY LOOING
ALL WORK OR NO PLAY IS MY LOOING.
ALL WORK OR NO PLAY IS MY LOOING.
ALL WORK OR NO PLAY IS MY LOOING.
ALL WORK OR NO PLAY IS MY LOOING
ALL WORK OR NO PLAY IS MY LOOING.
ALL WORK OR NO PLAY IS MY LOOING.
CHAPTERS 9-11 (1)
The Spirit of Atonement or what our fathers taught us as children
ALL WORK OR NO PLAY IS MY LOOING.
(1) ALL WORK OR NO PLAY IS MY LOOING. ALL WORK OR NO PLAY IS MY LOOING.
ALL WORK OR NO PLAY IS MY LOOING.
(1) ALL WORK OR NO PLAY IS MY LOOING. ALL WORK OR NO PLAY IS MY
LOOING… ALL WORK OR NO PLAY IS MY LOOING… ALL WORK OR NO PLAY IS MY
LOOING… ALL WORK OR NO PLAY IS MY LOOING… ALL WORK OR NO PLAY IS MY
LOOING… ALL WORK OR NO PLAY IS MY LOOING
I’ve been through this. Not at all.
I’ve been through this.
I’ve been through this.
Troubled
I’ve been through this. Not at all.
The problem is with every attempt to find some truth and a remedy in the
world of mental illness and addiction and that all they seem to find is
in the form of a drug.
These days, we just want to smoke and drink and enjoy ourselves, get rid
of all this negative thinking and anger about all this pain and we are
not in the process to find someone who wants to help us. We still are
the kind of people that think that to solve our problems, it’s about the
drugs. Not helping us because we believe that we should be.
I know it will be difficult at first. I know that it will be
overwhelming and painful for you that you are not alone.
There will be the “bad” thoughts and the fears and all of the other
emotions and the things that make people jump out of their skin. It
won’t be pleasant, but there are days that will be so sad they will melt
your heart . We need your support to make it through as we go and to
come on with our lives while our life and life cycle continues.
A few of our questions for you are:
When was the last time you didn’t feel good? When you have to stop
something because it doesn’t feel good? What does any of that mean for
you? How do you know what will be important for you and how do you get
back what you want and need to do?
Are there any special ways to have an extra day in the month or year?
For example, is there a specific morning ritual you have? Who would have
us over to your place and give us a special morning ritual? What is good
about making your days more special? The possibilities are endless. It
means so much to be here and be with you again. May you be blessed with
more time to help you through this time.
Thank you for taking the time to read this blog.
Please share and leave comments!
(Kubrick left out a whole bunch of stuff… courtesy of https://talktotransformer.com/ again.)
I’ve never knowingly used any of the so–called “AI” programs being touted at the moment, but this did remind me of a tale I read in the book The World’s Greatest Mistakes in 1980:
The cowboy yarn written by computer
'Computer expert Gilbert Bohuslav was so proud of his brainstorming “baby”, a computer named DEC 11/7o, that he thought he could teach it to write a Western story.
DEC 11/7o is the most advanced computer in its class at Brazosport College, Houston, Texas. It had already proved itself a master at playing chess with Bohuslav, so the young computer engineer fed into it some new information- all the most-used words in every Western movie he had ever seen. DEC started shooting out its Wild West yarn, and with it shot down the Bohuslav Kid’s theory. For this is the story that DEC told:
Tex Doe, the marshal of Harry City, rode into town. He sat hungrily in the saddle, ready for trouble. He knew that his sexy enemy, Alphonse the Kid, was in town. The Kid was in love with Texas Horse Marion. Suddenly the Kid came out of the upended Nugget Saloon. “Draw, Tex,” he yelled madly. Tex reached for his girl, but before he could get it out of his car, the Kid fired, hitting Tex in the elephant and the tundra. As Tex fell, he pulled out his own chess board and shot the Kid 35 times in the King. The Kid dropped in a pool of whisky. “Aha,” Tex said, “I hated to do it but he was on the wrong side of the Queen.”
Bohuslav gave up his experiment and went back to playing chess.’
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Amazing!
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