What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

Why did the duck go to the osteopath?
To quack his back.

Why are ducks not allowed to drive cars?
Because they always quack the windscreen.

What TV channel do ducks watch before setting off for a long flight?
The feather channel

8 Likes

#Glorantha

I suspect in Glorantha “that’s not funny. My axe in your head, that’s funny.”

3 Likes

The difference between tragedy and comedy in Glorantha:

I stub my toe: that’s tragedy.

You critically fumble your attack roll and cut off your own head: comedy gold.

7 Likes

That’s until you have to redraw your new character sheet…

2 Likes

I spotted an albino dalmatian the other day.

It was the least I could do.

11 Likes

Our father was a lovely chap, but not without foibles. One of the strangest was his aversion to sauces and condiments added at table rather than by the cook, out of sight. He was quite tolerant of his progeny’s late-night takeaway habit, too, but would often nip down in his pyjamas to reassure himself that the no-sauces rule was being observed. The first time my youngest brother joined us, he was caught adding soy sauce, and Pa’s wrath was frightful. When the storm finally abated and our parent had retired once again, I gave the kid some words to live by: ‘Never Kikkoman when he’s down.’

8 Likes

Back when I worked in veterinary practice, the dogs sometimes wanted to discuss their treatment with me. Unfortunately I had a long-standing policy that I wouldn’t negotiate with terriers.

9 Likes

It’s almost like the ban hammer doesn’t work…

8 Likes

3 Likes

There is a guy that does Battletech lore videos on the ol’ YouTube (“Tex Talks Battletech”), and they are way funnier than they have any right to be.

If you don’t care at all about Battletech, I can’t recommend them… they’re funny, but you do need to know at least a bit of Inner Sphere politics and a bit about the universe before they make sense.

However, the other day I was listening to one episode about the Battle for Tukayyid (May 1st to May 20th, 3052), in which Tex said, and I quote:

“This is what is known as a line defense. Or a castle defense. Or a layered defense. Or, in the modern parlance, a ‘Hippity Hoppity, Get Off My Property.’”

I haven’t stopped laughing about it since.

7 Likes

How do non-binary killers murder their victims?

They slash them.

4 Likes

Also fanfic writers…

3 Likes

Why do non-binary people love the gold rush?

Because there’s gold in them/their hills.

7 Likes

I

6 Likes

Genghis Khan is conquering it all…

1 Like

This reminds me of the GIF pronunciation debate… well, our Mongolian emperor gives even more options.

I’ve heard “Yenyis” ‘Genyis" and "Gengis’ (where the gs sound like in “get”). I am pretty sure I even have heard once or twice “Yengis”…

Funny enough, in Spanish is nearly every time pronounced “Henhis” (for lack of our harsh h sound from Spanish J, I am using H for ease of undertanding for the average English speaker).

On the other hand, the majority pronounces Khan as Can, although I’ve heard the odd Han, or Haan.

Sorry to open a can of worms, but, which one do you use?

4 Likes

IMG_7986

7 Likes

I grew up with ‘Genn-giss’ (hard g’s), but isn’t it actually more like ‘Chin-giss’ (still hard g)?

And ‘Karn.’

3 Likes

Sorry to open a can of worms, but, which one do you use?