Your story feels like some of the worst fights I have had with my partner where one thing leads to another and you end up with an entirely different issue than the one that started it all. These happened mostly when we were both tired and stressed out from various issues and then the one we tried to repress the most bubbles up.
If not now it would have come up the next time a minor conflict paved the way…
I once threw a carrot on the floor during such a fight because I was so angry. Carrots splatter all over the floor if you throw them hard enough. It actually helped because I had to laugh very hard seeing the mess I made. I may have thrown food at other opportunities… my memory is not entirely clear on that.
Money is a tough issue. We have had some of those debates. Mostly I am on the “afraid we overstretched our finances” end with my partner being more optimistic. There is a lot of room for conflict there. But once the topic is out in the open it can be cathartic to talk it out. You know where you stand then and having aired all of your worries–there might be some of your own, too–it might help you both put the matter to rest. Or realize that you truly need outside help on it.
I might be overstretching here. I am not a therapist or anything. I’ve just been through some of those fights that feel like they might break a relationship.
I went to the gym at an unusual time today, because it is when I had the time. As a result. its an entirely different set of people (except for that one guy who I always see. he either lives there, or he’s following me). I have a bunch of exercises I do infrequently as accessory movement, one or two a session, and some of them are things I’ve never seen anyone actually do. Today, I had the deadlift platform, and there wasn’t anyone waiting for it, so after I’d done my main work, I was doing single leg, opposite arm deadlifts (put your right leg straight out behind you, pick the bar up with your left right arm. then reverse, of course). One of the trainers, who I sort of know because he often works out at my normal time, came over and said “If you keep doing that, you’ll scare my new year’s clients away.” (And then asked some trainerish questions about why I do it, and what the goal is, which was why he’d really come over, but I thought it was pretty funny. )
I don’t even know these songs! I listen to indie bands nowadays, rather than nu-metal.
I started with Meteora from 2003 and then rolled back to Hybrid Theory (2000) and Reanimation (2002). Continued with Midnights to Midnight (2007) and then fell off with A Thousand Suns (2010).
Hmmm… so Meteora was from 23 years ago. Wow. I guess I am an unc.
It’s unwarm here – 7F, which is 20 degrees warmer than it was overnight, but still cold. I went out to go to the grocery store, and my car didn’t start, because the battery was dead. I’ve pulled it out to charge it inside, and was looking at my records. I bought it December 29 2021. It has a 4 year warranty.
Also, the car manufacturer sent me an email to tell me my battery is low.
Currently in the frustrating “waiting” stage of my Dad being ill but not yet knowing how bad it is.
It’s going to be some kind of lymphoma from the looks of things, but we’re looking at another 2.5 weeks before we know details, as his biopsy appointment is about 1.5 weeks away, and we’re expecting at least a week after that for results. Waiting sucks.
Meanwhile he’s been in quite a bit of pain, but he got some stronger pain relief a couple of days ago and last night got a decent night’s sleep for the first time in ages and was feeling comparatively good today. My brother and I were both able to visit today, and it was really good to see him in better spirits.
His previous cancer diagnosis was around 50 years ago when I was too young to be aware of any of it. Mum wasn’t sure he was going to survive that at the time, but thankfully I got to grow up with a Dad, and I’m hoping that I get to keep him for a good while longer yet.
Had a very vivid and long nightmare last night, in which reasonable-sounding Japanese police politely explained that I wasn’t being arrested, it’s just that I (and my kids, the twins being babies for some reason) had to be deported to somewhere in Africa what later appeared to be based on my memories of Bogota, and that I should stop overreacting. Everything was scaled-back and small-scale, like one policewoman I screamed at was petty enough to throw my bag into a spill of cola, nothing more than that, but my stress and distress still felt real. Continued all the way to disembarking and trying to find food and shelter in an unfamiliar country.
Not that day, no, but it’s obviously preying on my mind, along with larger concerns about the world becoming more insular and reactionary, and vague uncertainty about the direction Japan is heading.
Dad had his biopsy last Thursday. The procedure went very well, and he’s been back home since. There’s a 10-14 day wait before a result will be back, though, so there’ll be no new treatment plan any earlier than that.
In the meantime the pain meds have been causing severe constipation which has been so bad that we (and he) reached the conclusion today that he needs to come off them, because that side-effect (and flow-on effects) are actually a bigger problem than the pain – he’s been virtually unable to eat some days, and even on a good day isn’t eating very much.
And then before getting ready for bed tonight, he fell and hit his head. He seems to have been remarkably unscathed by this, but of course now I’m worried about the possibility of a concussion as well, and that the lack of food may have contributed to the fall, and that there’s a risk of it happening again.
Am feeling pretty helpless about it all right now. We’re pinning our hopes on the diagnosis being a relatively treatable variant, but am stressing now about even getting to the point of diagnosis safely.
I feel a little older today… we booked the accommodations for our May/June trip to Ireland (first time visiting) and we have so many considerations for every place we stay… it’s not as it used to be. Our first Scotland roadtrip in 2006, we just drove and looked for places to stay along the road (okay one night we were very close to considering sleeping in the car before we found a place). We cwouldn’t do that today. Although last year’s Sweden trip was partially booked while already on the road.
Although, since that particular trip the quality of beds has become a real issue. Just thinking of sleeping in Sweden makes my back ache. And so experience accumulates… Q.E.D.
Route
Because someone is going to ask. The route is more or less: Dublin / Galway / Dingle / Killarney / Cork and back to Dublin via the coast. I had Mistral assist me in planning. It is entirely possible that this is an awful idea for a route. But I just don’t have the brainpower to read a dozen travel guides right now. We’ll be fine We have never read travel guides before we arrived in a new country.
Feeling this. I used to hitchhike, sleep rough, couchsurf, spend months never knowing where I would sleep each night. At the time it was mostly great, or at least not a big deal. Now all that sounds very unappealing.
I am very sorry to hear about this. My Grandpa had a biopsy last week and it’s cancer, but as his doctor says, the good thing about being over ninety is that not even your cancer can move particularly fast.
I had nerve-damage related constipation and I found massive amounts of psyllium husks, magnesium hydroxide pills and lots and lots of fluids worked well. Better than going off opioids, for me, at least. Though I’ve probably long since built up an immunity and now take them as more habit than anything else. But if he is getting pain relief at all, after a long time of agony, it’s a significant quality of life improvement.
On the subject of sleeping, my shoulder is healing very well, but my general constitution is not conductive to sleep in beds which aren’t the advanced adjustable one at home I bought so I could sleep at home during my 2-3 years of recovery, as another night in a hospital would have moved the needle significantly in the direction of being furious, in principle, that the option of assisted suicide was closed to me by the State at its most offensive to human dignity.
Fortunately, as I removed myself from state-controlled real estate and direct doctoral authority, the State and I have managed to reach a level of Entente Cordiale, only slightly married by mutual contempt, so more or less the same as France and the UK.
I haven’t managed very much sleep here in London, as I always wake when the massive dose of drugs I take before bed starts to wear off, in about the third hour. Assuming I fall asleep at all, which happens about half the time. Still, this insistence that we need sleep every night is, of course, mere propaganda put about by Big Sleep (no, not the movie).
We have never read travel guides before we arrived in a new country.