Well, she’s probably taken a lot more drugs than I have, and is almost always sloshed.
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This all came up in a conversation about Ozzy Osbourne and suddenly they want to know everything. It’s been a largely fruitful conversation, but we’re still trying to clean up the distinction between Tylenol, Coffee, and Meth.
Daddy! Your coffee is a druuuugg!!
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I spent a lot of time talking to students about this.
The normal first step is challenging the all drugs are bad point of view.
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“The dose makes the poison.” 
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At work, we spend much of our time looking at cells aspirated from various tissue of the body - fine needle aspirates, or ‘FNAs’. My colleague has suggested we could make some money on the side by doing it online. If you pay, we’ll aspriate anything and examine it live, no questions asked. Website will be called OnlyFnas.
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On the bus a while ago, some dude was talking on his phone about his weekend, which apparently involved a lot of drugs. “We started <<untranslatable slang for took mass quantities of something I had never heard of, at least by that nam >> at six, and by nine we were on a rocket to Mars. Still on the taxi ride back.”
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Makes me think of Spaced, when Tim and Mike have had a night on “all this cheap speed” they were given, and Mike hasn’t been seen since…
Mike (calling from a phone box): Hello Timmy.
Tim: Where are you?
Mike: Uh, Sheffield.
Tim: What are you doing in Sheffield?!
Mike: Fell asleep on the tube.
Tim: The tube doesn’t go to Sheffield, Mike.
Mike: Yeah, I know. I must’ve changed at King’s Cross.
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“I can pee as fast as a cheetah walks.”
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“What is going on with your trousers?”
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“There are some items of equipment for which it’s hard to draw a line between repairs and routine operation.”
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“It’s a fine line between ‘living National Treasure’ and ‘needs taken out and shot.’”
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“These have more cracks than a person made entirely of butts…”
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I just got to the line in (probably) the video you got this quote from.
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“Did you say ‘snakes frighten some people’ or ‘snakes fart in some people?’”
“…
…
Frighten.”
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Depends. If you eat a snake whole, it probably will fart in you…
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“And then the bus would go over the edge, and I would need, like, Liam Neilson to save me, and if Liam Neilson isn’t on the bus, I’d be dead!”
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We’d have to get you to hospital right away.
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GASP “To Hospital?! What is it?”
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