# Actual things you actually said (or heard) in the last 24 hours **URL:** \ **Category:** Not Games\ **Created:** [4 February 2021 14:27 UTC](https://discussion.tekeli.li/t/actual-things-you-actually-said-or-heard-in-the-last-24-hours/2198 "2021-02-04T14:27:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 126
**Author:** ![Phil](https://discussion.tekeli.li/user_avatar/discussion.tekeli.li/phil/32/1508_2.png) [@Phil](https://discussion.tekeli.li/u/Phil)\ **Post date:** [25 August 2025 01:48 UTC](https://discussion.tekeli.li/t/actual-things-you-actually-said-or-heard-in-the-last-24-hours/2198/2504 "2025-08-25T01:48:05Z")
“It’s like History, but further back.” ---
**Author:** ![Phil](https://discussion.tekeli.li/user_avatar/discussion.tekeli.li/phil/32/1508_2.png) [@Phil](https://discussion.tekeli.li/u/Phil)\ **Post date:** [25 August 2025 03:00 UTC](https://discussion.tekeli.li/t/actual-things-you-actually-said-or-heard-in-the-last-24-hours/2198/2505 "2025-08-25T03:00:07Z")
“The bad news is that the ants are back. The weird news is that they’re getting drunk on Drambuie.” ---
**Author:** ![Phil](https://discussion.tekeli.li/user_avatar/discussion.tekeli.li/phil/32/1508_2.png) [@Phil](https://discussion.tekeli.li/u/Phil)\ **Post date:** [25 August 2025 09:09 UTC](https://discussion.tekeli.li/t/actual-things-you-actually-said-or-heard-in-the-last-24-hours/2198/2506 "2025-08-25T09:09:30Z")
“I thought he ate cheese all day long. It’s one of the few things about him that I respected.” ---
**Author:** ![JGD](https://discussion.tekeli.li/user_avatar/discussion.tekeli.li/jgd/32/619_2.png) [@JGD](https://discussion.tekeli.li/u/JGD)\ **Post date:** [1 September 2025 09:31 UTC](https://discussion.tekeli.li/t/actual-things-you-actually-said-or-heard-in-the-last-24-hours/2198/2507 "2025-09-01T09:31:42Z")
“That’s about as surprising as falling leaves in autumn.” ---
**Author:** ![Phil](https://discussion.tekeli.li/user_avatar/discussion.tekeli.li/phil/32/1508_2.png) [@Phil](https://discussion.tekeli.li/u/Phil)\ **Post date:** [2 September 2025 22:55 UTC](https://discussion.tekeli.li/t/actual-things-you-actually-said-or-heard-in-the-last-24-hours/2198/2508 "2025-09-02T22:55:56Z")
“Your ginger’s all up the wrong place.” ---
**Author:** ![BigJackBrass](https://discussion.tekeli.li/user_avatar/discussion.tekeli.li/bigjackbrass/32/4_2.png) [@BigJackBrass](https://discussion.tekeli.li/u/BigJackBrass)\ **Post date:** [3 September 2025 09:59 UTC](https://discussion.tekeli.li/t/actual-things-you-actually-said-or-heard-in-the-last-24-hours/2198/2509 "2025-09-03T09:59:30Z")
“Much of the detail iterated in the pornographic film may not exactly be historically accurate, but I suspect you already knew that about pornographic films.” ---
**Author:** ![Sexagesimalian](https://discussion.tekeli.li/user_avatar/discussion.tekeli.li/sexagesimalian/32/10542_2.png) [@Sexagesimalian](https://discussion.tekeli.li/u/Sexagesimalian)\ **Post date:** [4 September 2025 14:29 UTC](https://discussion.tekeli.li/t/actual-things-you-actually-said-or-heard-in-the-last-24-hours/2198/2510 "2025-09-04T14:29:29Z")
Paraphrasing a pharmaceutical advertisement I heard on the radio this morning: “… over 90% of users didn’t have a stroke while taking (whateveritwas).” ---
**Author:** ![Marx](https://discussion.tekeli.li/user_avatar/discussion.tekeli.li/marx/32/28667_2.png) [@Marx](https://discussion.tekeli.li/u/Marx)\ **Post date:** [4 September 2025 19:58 UTC](https://discussion.tekeli.li/t/actual-things-you-actually-said-or-heard-in-the-last-24-hours/2198/2511 "2025-09-04T19:58:06Z")
> [@Sexagesimalian](#): > > didn’t have a stroke “The doctor’s said I could masturbate whenever I wanted!” “No, the doctor said you could have a stroke at any moment.” ---
**Author:** ![dscheidt](https://discussion.tekeli.li/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@dscheidt](https://discussion.tekeli.li/u/dscheidt)\ **Post date:** [4 September 2025 22:12 UTC](https://discussion.tekeli.li/t/actual-things-you-actually-said-or-heard-in-the-last-24-hours/2198/2512 "2025-09-04T22:12:09Z")
porn is teaching adolescents to have unrealistic expectations about how fast a plumber will arrive. ---
**Author:** ![Phil](https://discussion.tekeli.li/user_avatar/discussion.tekeli.li/phil/32/1508_2.png) [@Phil](https://discussion.tekeli.li/u/Phil)\ **Post date:** [5 September 2025 12:40 UTC](https://discussion.tekeli.li/t/actual-things-you-actually-said-or-heard-in-the-last-24-hours/2198/2513 "2025-09-05T12:40:16Z")
“I think we’ve successfully narrowed ‘all adults’ down to ‘your mother’.” ---
**Author:** ![RogerBW](https://discussion.tekeli.li/user_avatar/discussion.tekeli.li/rogerbw/32/3_2.png) [@RogerBW](https://discussion.tekeli.li/u/RogerBW)\ **Post date:** [6 September 2025 19:21 UTC](https://discussion.tekeli.li/t/actual-things-you-actually-said-or-heard-in-the-last-24-hours/2198/2514 "2025-09-06T19:21:23Z")
“What can I say except ‘you’re welcome’ For the swamp and the lava and the pigs.” ---
**Author:** ![COMaestro](https://discussion.tekeli.li/user_avatar/discussion.tekeli.li/comaestro/32/1030_2.png) [@COMaestro](https://discussion.tekeli.li/u/COMaestro)\ **Post date:** [7 September 2025 03:08 UTC](https://discussion.tekeli.li/t/actual-things-you-actually-said-or-heard-in-the-last-24-hours/2198/2515 "2025-09-07T03:08:27Z")
“I like sucking.” Friend describing his enjoyment, yet poor performance, at **Lords of Vegas**. Went on to win that game. ---
**Author:** ![RogerBW](https://discussion.tekeli.li/user_avatar/discussion.tekeli.li/rogerbw/32/3_2.png) [@RogerBW](https://discussion.tekeli.li/u/RogerBW)\ **Post date:** [7 September 2025 09:19 UTC](https://discussion.tekeli.li/t/actual-things-you-actually-said-or-heard-in-the-last-24-hours/2198/2516 "2025-09-07T09:19:21Z")
“Ye can tak ma fush but ye’ll never tak ma penguin!” ---
**Author:** ![Phil](https://discussion.tekeli.li/user_avatar/discussion.tekeli.li/phil/32/1508_2.png) [@Phil](https://discussion.tekeli.li/u/Phil)\ **Post date:** [10 September 2025 13:57 UTC](https://discussion.tekeli.li/t/actual-things-you-actually-said-or-heard-in-the-last-24-hours/2198/2517 "2025-09-10T13:57:19Z")
“Are you saying it’s like Russian dolls, and inside each Buddha is another, smaller Buddha?” ---
**Author:** ![Acacia](https://discussion.tekeli.li/user_avatar/discussion.tekeli.li/acacia/32/6915_2.png) [@Acacia](https://discussion.tekeli.li/u/Acacia)\ **Post date:** [10 September 2025 14:20 UTC](https://discussion.tekeli.li/t/actual-things-you-actually-said-or-heard-in-the-last-24-hours/2198/2518 "2025-09-10T14:20:03Z")
Each one a little happier than the one before. ---
**Author:** ![Sexagesimalian](https://discussion.tekeli.li/user_avatar/discussion.tekeli.li/sexagesimalian/32/10542_2.png) [@Sexagesimalian](https://discussion.tekeli.li/u/Sexagesimalian)\ **Post date:** [10 September 2025 16:36 UTC](https://discussion.tekeli.li/t/actual-things-you-actually-said-or-heard-in-the-last-24-hours/2198/2519 "2025-09-10T16:36:06Z")
It’s Buddha’s all the way down until you reach a happiness singularity. ---
**Author:** ![BigJackBrass](https://discussion.tekeli.li/user_avatar/discussion.tekeli.li/bigjackbrass/32/4_2.png) [@BigJackBrass](https://discussion.tekeli.li/u/BigJackBrass)\ **Post date:** [14 September 2025 21:25 UTC](https://discussion.tekeli.li/t/actual-things-you-actually-said-or-heard-in-the-last-24-hours/2198/2520 "2025-09-14T21:25:12Z")
“As a nymphomaniac she’s a bit of an under-achiever” ---
**Author:** ![JGD](https://discussion.tekeli.li/user_avatar/discussion.tekeli.li/jgd/32/619_2.png) [@JGD](https://discussion.tekeli.li/u/JGD)\ **Post date:** [14 September 2025 22:26 UTC](https://discussion.tekeli.li/t/actual-things-you-actually-said-or-heard-in-the-last-24-hours/2198/2521 "2025-09-14T22:26:48Z")
“We’re making interstellar snuff movies.” ---
**Author:** ![BigJackBrass](https://discussion.tekeli.li/user_avatar/discussion.tekeli.li/bigjackbrass/32/4_2.png) [@BigJackBrass](https://discussion.tekeli.li/u/BigJackBrass)\ **Post date:** [16 September 2025 19:15 UTC](https://discussion.tekeli.li/t/actual-things-you-actually-said-or-heard-in-the-last-24-hours/2198/2522 "2025-09-16T19:15:13Z")
“How can you make tasteless bacon?” ---
**Author:** ![Phil](https://discussion.tekeli.li/user_avatar/discussion.tekeli.li/phil/32/1508_2.png) [@Phil](https://discussion.tekeli.li/u/Phil)\ **Post date:** [30 September 2025 05:33 UTC](https://discussion.tekeli.li/t/actual-things-you-actually-said-or-heard-in-the-last-24-hours/2198/2523 "2025-09-30T05:33:20Z")
“Religious Donkey. The new fragrance from Christian d’Eeyore.” _– Maisie Adam, on Mock the Week_ [Previous page](https://discussion.tekeli.li/t/actual-things-you-actually-said-or-heard-in-the-last-24-hours/2198.md?page=125) [Next page](https://discussion.tekeli.li/t/actual-things-you-actually-said-or-heard-in-the-last-24-hours/2198.md?page=127)